oh god I'm never eating again [dinner at per se]

FYI...I started this post the morning after dinner and I just finished it (a week + later)

It's 9:30 am post per se, and I am overcome with the feeling of never wanting to eat again. Mostly I feel this way because I had a nine course dinner (plus little extras) starting at 10 pm last night. What struck me by dinner last night is that it was the first really fancy dinner that seemed like real american food. No hamburgers or anything, but a salsa/goat cheese course?! Dessert wasn't some fancy french pastry thing, but a heavenly chocolate/hazelnut almost ganache-like thing (but believe me, I will get to dessert in a minute).

When I asked Jeff what he thought of dinner, he paused for a minute and then said "yeah, it was pretty good." Pretty good, huh? Every course was meticulously designed and crafted for flavor and texture combinations. I admit there were some that had me feeling like they were just dressing up some veggies from the corner store. But overall, the meal was incredibly impressive, clearly, if I felt like I never wanted to eat again, I certainly got enough good food to make me want to explode.

So let's start at the beginning...10 pm, Friday night (two Fridays ago). We were seated and quickly ordered a bottle of champagne (it's hard not to when they come up to your table and ask "so will you be starting with champagne?" really impossible to turn that offer down). Then a waitress came up to me with a little stool. Slightly confused (but not wanting to show my confusion), she set it down next to me (I really really really wanted it to be a foot rest so I could stretch out my legs under the table), I quickly realized it was for my purse. A seat for my purse. A seat....for my purse. ha!

We started browsing the menu and were informed that we could "mix and match" off of the vegetarian tasting menu and the regular tasting menu. We put together our dinner selections while they brought us these heavenly cheese balls. Cheese balls raised to the infinite power. I think it was brie, surrounded by a delightful pastry dough, which provided just the right crispiness to match the melty cheese. I could have eaten a hundred, but thankfully I was only given one because I definitely would have thrown up after dinner if I had more.

We ordered our dinner, and shortly after our food descended to our table (we hadn't however, received any bread yet, and were DYING, so we had to ask for some, slight point deduction, but not much). The first course was an oyster/caviar course. Jeff opted for some green soup thing (he REALLY must hate oysters if he opted for the green soup). All I have to say is that the oyster dish was my favorite of the night and the green soup tasted like garbage. Literally, spinach garbage. I was worried for a moment and then I went back to my oysters and melted away to caviar heaven. It was this creamy dish, almost like cream cheese, with the caviar providing little bursts of salty goodness. Amazing. A-maze-ing. Definitely the best course (besides dessert, but we'll get there) of the night.

I'm not sure I remember the order of all the courses (but I did write them all down so I would remember them), but I'll highlight the good stuff.

There was a red mullet fish dish, that was good, for what it was. I'm not a huge fan of red mullet, but the skin was perfectly crispy and had delightful accompaniments. That ended up being story of the meal for many of the courses (except dessert...we'll get there). While the main part of the dish would be good, it was always paired with a bunch of little accent tastes that enhanced the dish to levels not imaginable.

Foi gras was delightful, one of the best I've ever had. Unfortunately, I hate to admit it, but I very much enjoy the fattened duck liver. It's horrible, but it's not like I eat it every day (I've probably eaten it 4 times in my life -- although 3 of those were in the last year). But it was extremely creamy and had a rich wonderful flavor. As we started to eat the foi gras (I actually think it was right before we dug in, the waiters came out and brought us fresh warm brioche toast (we were served brioche toast when they served it to us originally). Apparently the first batch of brioche was no longer warm and therefore needed to be replaced. We postulated that they just did this to really make us feel like we were eating at a fancy place. Maybe it did taste better with warm toast, but they literally had just set it down, so they must have brought it out cold (or cool or whatever). They just wanted to show off their warm toast.

And then came the veal brain. Yup, that's right, little baby cow brains. Jeff opted out of this dish too, which was probably a good idea. In my defense I didn't really know what I was ordering when I ordered it, but I have to admit that I ate the whole thing (it was only one little piece). Jeff remembers it actually looking like a brain (all nobby and such), but my piece looked smooth to me. My mother-in-law, who is a medical examiner (and therefore sees brains on a regular basis) could not finish hers because it hit a little too close to home. But here's the kicker, I bet you're wondering what cow brain tastes like, right? It tastes like sushi. Yeah, that's right, cow brain tastes like sushi. I'm not sure if it was the texture, or there was some kind of salty crust or something on it (wow, that sounds disgusting, a salty crusted cow brain), but all I could think about was how much it tasted like sushi.

The last truly memorable course was the beef course (real, cooked beef). It was perfectly done, perfectly tasty and perfectly accompanied. Yes, it's true, a steak is only a steak, and I agree that they can only be so good, but when put with a perfect little onion and a potato puff thing, it becomes a whole different meal. Bites of onion and potato that are soft and tender but providing just the flavor punches needed for the steak.

There was a "cheese" course, which was goat cheese with a tomatillo salsa, moderately forgettable. It was just as I have described it. Then, blueberry sorbet, which again, was good, but had this crispy caramel thin pancake thing with it that I could stop myself from eating once I started, it was totally addictive.

So let's move quickly onto dessert. So the menu said something about chocolate and hazelnut torte or something. I was excited (because I LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolate and hazelnut), but I was not prepared for how crazy good it was going to be. It was really just a chocolate hazelnut mousse in an egg shape (like reese's easter peanut butter egg size, those big ones). But it was this airy, delightful, chocolately, hazelnutty treat. It melted away into my mouth and I didn't want any bite to end, but I soon came to the end of my dessert. Disappointed, my mother-in-law fended off Jeff's grubby hands and gave me hers. I plowed through her dessert before the waitress came back. When she did, she commented that it looked like I really liked the dessert and noted that I finished two of them. I was a little embarrassed but then she asked if I would like more. I turned a little red, but my father-in-law quickly answered in the affirmative for me, and off she went.

She returned with not one but TWO more chocolate hazelnut mousse dessert delights. oh, how I love thee (both the dessert and the waitress for bringing me more). This time, I didn't even try to savor them, I just devoured them. It probably would have been a good idea if I tried to savor them, then I would have thought about how full I was. But I didn't...I just kept eating. I pushed through. Then they brought out truffles: chocolate, coconut, etc... Well, I had to try those too...until I didn't feel so well anymore.

Just as I was started to feel like I REALLY overdid it, the waitress came back, and I started to get a little nervous (if she had more chocolate hazelnut then I'd HAVE to eat it, but I might have exploded if that were the case). She approached the table and began with an apology. She explained that the kitchen had thrown out the rest of the desserts (although we read that as: chefs and wait staff claimed the rest to take home, which is fine, they deserve it), but they did have some brownies leftover, which she handed to me all wrapped up in an extremely fancy goody bag. Twelve mini brownies all together PLUS they had given us these packages of meringue cookies. oh god. this is when I really started to feel like I OD'd.

I really had wanted to take a taxi home, but when I got up I knew that I had to walk home or I would simply fall over and die. We walked slowly home and each step I took I thought I was going to throw up. It was almost worse than drinking too much, except that I got to enjoy each bite with delight. We got home and I immediately had to go right to bed (I know that probably wasn't the best idea, but I could not stand being awake and feeling that way any longer).

All in all, an amazing dinner. I'm pretty darn lucky to have had the chance to go. Although, if you ever go, do NOT eat four desserts, even if you want to.